I have just had a very interesting discussion with the insurance agent dealing with our stolen car. Whilst I would love to on move on to lighter topics of an uplifting nature, the wheels that are the insurance company  have ground to a halt.

It seems their wheels grind deeply and painfully in the hope that claimants give up, walk away and die quietly. If claimants refuse to keel over then other, well-oiled, heavy-duty wheels are dragged from storage and attached to the wagon that is the claims department.

There are subtle, whispered insinuations we arranged to have the car stolen for the insurance money, that we disabled the alarm, that we gave the thieves a key, that we are not Dutch therefore entirely suspect. The fact I have been telephoning regularly for several weeks checking on the progress of the claim is ‘suspicious’.

Our insurance broker has woken up to the fact our claim has been ongoing for ten weeks and has finally been galvanised into action. This afternoon found him incandescent with rage having attempted to deal with the insurance company himself. He has apologised for involving us with such shysters – they will not be using them for future customers.

He is currently writing an official complaint to the agent and every Director of T***** insurance with the help and backing of his legal team.

In the meantime I have been strangely calm and in the zone. It’s a while since I’ve been here and it’s very empowering. It’s the point where you separate yourself from the process and remove all emotion. The moment you stand up for yourself and refuse to be bullied by someone who feels he has some power over you.

There is an exquisite moment before you pick up the phone when you are sure of what you want to say, how you’re going to say it and you know with absolute certainty you are in control.

The message was conveyed without anger, rancour or hysteria using measured tones enunciated with precision. It’s not a voice I use often but it is a strong one, saved as a last resort.

Words are powerful tools whether written or spoken, they can destroy, damage, hurt and sometimes crucify. Used wisely they are the finest tools we have to communicate with each other, used by the wrong people and the results can be catastrophic. Being impeccable with your word is something I take very seriously.

Why this sudden change in tactics? Because the integrity of my spouse and myself has been questioned and that has crossed a line.

I have not had the resolution I would have liked from the insurance company today but I’m feeling good. Those insidious whispers and attempts to smear our reputation have been squarely challenged and the consequences of those ‘bully boy’ tactics made clear.

It was a heated exchange on his part, attempts to talk over ‘the little women’, shout, bluster, make smart remarks and finally silence. He knows it has gone beyond an insurance claim, there is no one to bully and social niceties are out of the window. The words spoken to him were not threats but statements of intent which will be carried through.

Knowing where you stand and being comfortable in that position is the most powerful and empowering place to be. It may not change the situation but the ground rules have been laid and we move on from here.